Woke up this election morn a-rarin’ to go. Donned my red, black and green day-glo liberation dashiki I had been saving for just the proper occasion, laced up my high-heeled sneakers, grabbed my battle plans, and teetered over to my local polling place.
Being entitled as a white guy and all, I took cuts and shoved my way to the head of the line whereupon I was compelled to prove I was me and that I ain’t dead yet.
That hurdle overcome, I stepped into the booth, pulled the curtain behind me and commenced flippin’ switches, pullin’ levers, twisting dials, stuffing ballots and otherwise frantically exercised my franchise. Over and over and over again.
45 minutes later, I felt a heavy hand land on my shoulder. Pivoting to the right, I peered into the shaded orbs of Long John Law, who advanced the novel claim that in this land of yours and mine, there’s only one vote per customer.
Well call me the turnip that fell off the truck, but who knew?
Summoning all the persuasion at my command, I proudly pronounced, "Yeah but MY votes MATTER!”
Singularly unimpressed by my heretofore unassailable logic, I was unceremoniously escorted to the door and tossed outside to stand in the pouring rain looking for somebody to tell my troubles to.
Beguiled no doubt by my hang dog mien, I was approached by a news reporter for the local right wing rag. (The Boston Herald to the uninitiated), who asked if she could ask me a few questions. “Shoot, lady’, I told her, “I’m all mouth!”
Four hours and thirty seven minutes and one box of throat lozenges later, I had only unloaded a mere portion of the dump Trump truck of my mind when her pen ran out of ink, stifling me mid-soliloquy.
Unsated, I lit upon a gaggle of Trumpeters and sparred with them for a while. Scratched a few of ‘em up pretty good too and they never laid a laid a glove on me. How could they unless might makes right - which it don't and never will.
And the moral of the story? None that I'm aware of, but if there is, I s'pose it's that if ya only have one vote to cast for your country, make it count - and bring every baby and all the ol’ guys and ladies with you when you do.
Hang in there folks and as always, ROLL BLUE!
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