The games boys play or, diamonds are a girl's best friend

The games boys play or diamonds are a girl's best friend. 

The world mourned last June, when, five bare days before the nuptials, 26 year old buxom blonde (now there's a surprise) Crystal Harris, broke off her engagement to her 86 year old Pay Pal and fiancee, Hugh Hefner. 

Reports that Hef's overlapping relationship with the equally blonde and and by every measurement equally buxom Shannon twins (double surprise!) had anything to do with the breakup were undermined when Ms. Harris, a former Playmate of the Year, (by a unanimous vote of 1-0) stunned the world with the revelations that she was never "turned on" by Hef, that they had pre-marital sex only once (that explains the pink wedding dress) and that Hef is a 2 second man! Who knew?

Adding insult to injury, rather than return the engagement ring, Ms. Harris decided to auction off the $90,000.00 bauble. After all, a girl's gotta eat. It must have been quite a low blow when the news arrived that the 6-carat ring would only fetch $20-30,000. on the market. There's just no pity on this plain granite planet anymore.

But now, wonder upon wonders, comes news that the gilded couple are reunited and prepared to cross over the threshold into matrimonial bliss on the eve of this very New Year! Reports are that the invitations are encrusted in (wait for it ... wait ... ready ... really ready?) Crystal! Oh, I can hardly wait to get mine!

Ms. Harris has even taken to Titter ... uhh, Twitter to thank "the past" for lessons delivered and assure all that she is "ready" for her (albeit, likely brief) "future" with Hef.

It must have been the second ring that did it as it is being proudly displayed on every page of the Internet that this intrepid reporter has had the misfortune to stumble upon. Here 'tis. Dick and Liz had nothing on these two.

And the lesson for Old Playdead Hef? A kiss on the cheek may be quite continental, but diamonds are a girl's best friend.

December 13, 2012

UPDATE: In the "fairy tales can come true, it could happen to you" or "diamonds are a ghouls best friend" department, the rumor has finally come to pass. On New Year's Eve, the once dashing, now sagging Hef married the former runaway, now grounded lass. May bliss and December love reign o'er them both.

The way I figure it, Hugh Hefner believes he's an avatar descended into the world of Mad Men to teach all the upright dudes and laid back chicks that a slap on a passing female posterior is a welcome compliment and, decades later, still hasn't noticed that back here in reality, most have long since forgotten whatever it was that made him famous in the first place (it was for wearing pajamas all day, right?) and the rest just don't care. That's a man who stayed too long at the fair.