I Confess!

I CONFESS.

I can't take the anymore. I can't handle the suspense.  Ya know that anonymous NYT op-ed hit piece on The Mad Don that has Twitter all a-dither? well, that was me! I did it! I'm the one! 
Don't act so surprised. It's not as if I'm new to this cloak and dagger, cheap hit and run stuff. I got me some Dems-you-whine bona-fides in tattle tale deportment, I tell ya what.

As a play pretend member of the fourth estate, it was my investigative journalism that exposed the Seven Dwarfs crime syndicate  and revealed to the world that Bubba Looies' talent was short.  I  know who killed the Kennedy's (it was you, not me), and I was the Only Member who buttoned Tony Soprano, turned Two-Face and unmasked Spiderman.

I didn't do this as part of any never ending crusade for truth, justice or the American way.  I did it because one day I shall be released and, (assuming  it's not the Twelfth of Never), when I do get out of the hoosegow I intend to take my place alongside those other notable misfit turncoats like Omarosa, on the Tube of Boobs where I too can pretend to know something you don't: namely, that Donald Trump is a big fat meanie, a complete dope, and a sure fire ca$h cow. 

So let's get this inquisition over with. Drag me naked, stoned, and stabbed into the public square. Nathan Hale me with a scarlet letter tattooed to my torso so that we can return to the nation's more pressing business, which is to bury ThugNuts Trump in a swamp of his own making.

Until then, I remain yours in justified treachery.

Signed,
The Ominous Anonymous.
September 9, 2018