The Showdown! The Rifleman takes on Matt Dillon

When my dear friend AB revealed to the world that Chuck Conners and James Arness were the first objects of her grade school affections and that all these years later, she still couldn't choose one over the other, it was time to size 'em up for her. This one's for you, AB 

Gunsmoke Intro

Rifleman Intro

Real names: Lucas McCain vs. Matt Dillon. 

Both strike fear in any bad guy. 

Advantage: Draw.
(Continued after the Jump).

Height: Lucas 6'6" Matt 6'7"

Advantage: Matt - but only if he could rebound

Real life: Lucas played for the Boston Celtics and Brooklyn Dodgers.  

Matt's brother was Mr. Phelps and that's impossible!
On November 5, 1946 Lucas became the first player in NBA history to shatter a backboard. 

Advantage: Lucas hands down.

Intros: Matt only needs two shots to drop the hombre opposing him.
Lucas takes 12 to drop who knows how many.
Neither one needs to aim.
Advantage: Too close to call.
Tie breaker: Some guy who calls himself Wayne introduces the first episode of Gunsmoke.
With friends line that ... Gotta give it to James.

Beefcake factor:

If Lucas didn't have his shirt off very episode, the writers were on the bread line.

Matt lived in the adult world where even Miss Kitty was always dressed to the nines.

Advantage: Oh, c'mon.

Pedigree: Lucas was Branded.

Matt was The Thing from Another World. 

Advantage: Lucas.

Pals: : Lucas palled around with Mark, a whiny little kid.

Matt played with Kitty. Or didn't. 

Advantage: Matt. I think.

Trigger and Silver factor: 

Neither could be bothered naming their hosses.
Come to think of it, never saw Luke ride one.

Advantage: 2 point deduction to both.

Occupation: Matt was a US Marshall. 

Lucas was a rancher. A rancher? What's a rancher anyway?

Advantage: The Marshall. 

Glamour factor: Lucas and that tricked up rifle. 

Matt: Miss Kitty

Advantage: Lucas. Big time.

Acting creds: Lucas had the best jaw twitch this side of the Pecos. 

Matt had that cigar store wooden Indian method acting thing down pat. 

Advantage: - 2 to both.

Theme songs: No lyrics. No points. 

Best Dirty fighter: 

Are you kidding? No cowpoke was ever a dirty fighter until Clint went Italian.

Advantage: The Man With No Name

Guest stars: Gunsmoke had Burt Reynolds, a real movie star. 

Rifleman had the sheriff from Roy Rogers, a real actor. 

Advantage: The Rifleman.

Broadcast time: 

Rifleman was on at 7. Gunsmoke was on at 10. Too late for any kids I knew 

Advantage: The Rifleman.

Until It's Time For You To Go: Lucas deserted and joined the army. 

Matt hung around until it hurt to watch him heave those weary bones into the saddle. 

Advantage: Lucas.

A quick tally and let's see ... still too close to call! And so we move on to the deciding factor:

THE KILL COUNT!

After the opening gunfight, Matt mostly roped 'em in and calmed 'em down. 

Lucas, the rancher, gunned 'em down every time and we can prove it. 

Clear advantage, the winner, champeen and greatest hero killer of the old west, LUCAS THE REAL RIFLEMAN McCAIN!

Now ya know, AB, now ya know.

March 30, 2009 updated September 21, 2012

March 30, 2009 updated September 22, 2012